Home safe
For family violence survivor Julie-ann, the assaults began after her ex-partner took her interstate — isolating her from everyone and everything she knew.
“Once I was away from everybody, everything just went to hell because there was no one,” she says. “I had no family, no friends, nothing was familiar. And that’s when that nightmare began.”
Julie-ann enacted a plan to leave, slowly putting money away and sending her children ahead of her to family in Victoria. The abuse became so bad, she fled for her life.
She recalls her life’s belongings being packed into a polyester tartan washing bag as she searched for housing for herself and her four children.
“I really hate those bags now,” Julie-ann says.
Are You Safe at Home? Day is marked nationwide on 10 May, recognising it’s a basic human right to be safe in your own home and raising awareness about how to support someone experiencing violence. Knox Council will mark the day by delivering a webinar in partnership with Maroondah and Monash councils.
For Julie-ann, a recovery course run by Anglicare in Ferntree Gully was a turning point in her life.
“I learnt the techniques that could be used to control you as part of the cycle of violence,” Julie-ann says. “During the ‘honeymoon phase’, he’s just beaten you and then all of a sudden he’s really remorseful and promises to go and get help. And it just keeps going around and around.
“It’s so bloody hard because you don’t want people to know how bad it is. I used to wish someone would intervene. I thought surely the neighbours could hear me screaming, I wish someone would call the police because I can’t do it.”
Now an advocate for other victim-survivors, Julie-ann says if you’re worried someone you know may be experiencing violence a good starting point is looking up local support services and helping the person to make the calls.
“Just notice behaviours and also believe them if they tell you,” she says.
“It’s not just physical violence. It could be coercive control, for instance, my partner would time how long it took me to walk my daughter to school and back and if I wasn’t back in eight minutes he would come to the school looking for me. If he had to go to the shop, he would lock all the doors, take the keys. Another tactic was to take one child.”
Are You Safe at Home? Day aims to start the conversation. By asking, listening and believing, you can make an impact in someone’s journey to safety.
Register to watch the webinar on Wednesday 14 May from 7.30-9pm
If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. In an emergency, call 000.
Find out more about family violence support in Knox
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